What’s a horse’s favorite condiment?

Mayoneiiighs.

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Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead, silly!

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What’s the most apprehensive type of squash?

Butternut….

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What’s a dragons favorite snack?

Fire Crackers!

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There once was a great Mexican magician…

There was once a great Mexican Magician. He was world-renowned for his incredible feats. His most famous act, though, was his vanishing act. He would count; uno dos and suddenly he would disappear without a tres.

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Two whales walk into a bar…

They approach the bartender and the first says, "WAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOHHHHOOAAAAAUAUUUAUAAAAUAAUUUUAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU."

The second whale turns to him and says, "Frank, you're drunk."

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married, the ceremony wasn’t much…

but the reception was incredible!

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What do you give to a female fish that has trouble laying her eggs?

a SEA-section!

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I accidentally walked into my son in the shower.

Well that's a clean joke, right?

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Why should you always give kids soda before they go swimming?

Root beer floats!

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