A guy walks into a bar

And sees a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. He says to the bartender, "What's up with all the meat hanging from the ceiling?" Bartender says, "If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get to drink for free for the whole night. But if you miss, you have to buy drinks for everybody at the whole bar. You wanna give it a try?" The guy says "Nah, the steaks are too high."

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A man goes to prison (this is a lot cleaner and funnier than it sounds at first)

A man goes to prison and the first night while he's laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, "44!" Followed by laughter from the other prisoners.

He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, "72!" Followed by even more laughter.

"What's going on?" he asked his cellmate.

"Well, we've all heard every joke so many times, we've given them each a number to make it easier."

"Oh," he says, "can I try?"

"Sure, go ahead."

So, he yells out "102!" and the place goes nuts. People are whooping and laughing in a hysteria. He looks at his cellmate rolling on the ground with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. "Wow, good joke huh?"

"Yeah! We ain't never heard that one before!"

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Three pop cans are sitting in the fridge…

And a girl comes along and drinks one, then takes it out to the garage and crushes the can and tosses it in the recycling bin.

Then, one of the remaining cans says to the other, "That was so depressing."

Get it? Soda pressing? So depressing? It works better out loud. But I made it up!!!!

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