The Last Laugh

A police officer is in his patrol car out in the country when a local Irishman he hates drives buy in a new Rolls Royce he bought with a recent lotto win. “Lucky swine, I’ll have him”, he says to himself.

He pulls out behind the guy and turns on the blue lights. Paddy sees the lights and being a good guy he parks up. The cop gets out of the car and tells Paddy to get out of his car also. He then walks Paddy to the front of the Roller and from his pocket he takes a stick of white chalk. He bends down and draws a large circle. “Right Paddy I want you to stand in that there circle and if at any time you leave it I will arrest you and make your life a misery, do you understand”? Paddy nods his head and steps into the circle.

The cop takes out his truncheon and smashes the front lights on the Rolls, he walks to the rear of the car and then smashes those lights to. He then walks back to Paddy. Paddy is shaking slightly and obviously chuckling to himself. This of course makes the cop angry. “Think that’s funny huh”? He proceeds to use the truncheon to smash the front windscreen; he smashes in the side windows and lastly goes to the rear of the car and breaks the rear window to. Slightly sweaty he returns to Paddy who is visibly shaking more and flat out laughing, holding his sides slightly.

The cop loses it completely, he goes to the boot of his car and takes out a sledge hammer and proceeds to totally smash up the front of the cars body work. He destroys the side panels and works his way to the rear of the car where he proceeds to totally destroy that to. The car is now a total wreck, the cop is bright red and swimming in sweat. He walks back to Paddy with a triumphant smile on his face but this goes as he sees Paddy lying on the floor inside the circle laughing uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face.

The cop is totally bewildered. “Paddy”, he says, “I have just destroyed your brand new Rolls Royce and your laughing hard enough to die, for the love of G*d man what’s so d**n funny”?

Paddy wipes the tears of laughter from his eyes and looks directly at the cop and replies “What you didn’t realise is that every time you went to the back of the car I stepped out of the circle”.

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A Polar Bear walks into a cafe

He says, "I'll have a burger and…. a coke."

The waitress says, "Okay. But, why the long pause?"

The bear says, "I don't know. I was born with them."

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