My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn’t heard before.

My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other. Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?" Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands." Doesn't have a clue why I was laughing so hard. Edit: mutant added** Edit 2: to those who are telling me it's not a joke, because my son doesn't understand the English language. WOW, you're right! I hadn't thought of that. I really thought he got me, but you have changed everything! My 4 year old son doesn't know the word "bare", or sarcasm yet. Please stop PMing me that now. Thank you.

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Christmas joke.

It was coming up to Christmas and a priest was going through the church after Mass. He saw a note in the pew. Curious, he picked it up and read, "Dear Jesus: I would really like a bike for Christmas. Love, Billy." The priest thought it was adorable, put it in his pocket and left.

The next Sunday, the same priest went through the church after Mass and saw a note in the pew. He picks it up, reads the note and it says, "Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas. Love, Billy." The priest is again moved, so he again puts the note in his pocket and leaves.

Christmas comes and after all the Masses, the priest is going through the church again. He looks around and he notices the statue of the Virgin Mary missing. He rushes over and finds a note on the pedestal. It says:

"Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you'll get me the bike I wanted for Christmas. Billy."

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A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman…

The general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better…" and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956…". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"

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