Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A: No eye deer (No idea)

Q: What do you call a quadriplegic deer with no eyes?

A: Still, no eye deer. (Still no idea)

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JKLMNOPQRST

That's all that stands between U and I :)

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Two Math Professors Are Sitting In A Pub. “Isn’t It Disgusting”, The First One Complains, “how Little The General Public Knows About Mathematics?

"Well", his colleague replies, "you're perhaps a bit too pessimistic."

"I don't think so", the first one replies. "And anyhow, I have to go to the bathroom."

He goes off, and the other professor decides to use this opportunity to play a prank on his colleague. He makes a sign to the pretty, blonde waitress to come over.

"When my friend comes back, I'll wave you over to our table, and I'll ask you a question. I would like you to answer: x to the third over three. Can you do that?"

"Sure." The girl giggles and repeats several times: "x to the third over three, x to the third over three, x to the third over three…"

When the first professor comes back from the washroom, his colleague says: "I still think, you're way too pessimistic. I'm sure the waitress knows a lot more about mathematics than you imagine."

He makes her come over and asks her: "Can you tell us what the integral of x squared is?"

She replies: "x to the third over three."

The other professor's mouth drops wide open, and his colleague grins smugly when the waitress adds: "…plus C."

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Bike Handles

Dad: Hey son, do you know what Bike Handles are?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Then use Bike Handles in a sentence.
Son: well I can't really. (We call them Handlebars.)
Dad: How about this: The power went out today so I need to go the the store and Bike Handles.
(Read out loud)

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