Two Irishmen…

Two Irish brothers, Paddy and Mickey, are walking in Dublin when they see a fancy shop selling shoes. They notice a pair of alligator shoes selling for $200 American. Paddy goes into the shop and inquires where the shoes come from and the shopkeeper tells them it's from an exclusive lake in Africa. So Paddy and Mickey set out for Africa and find the lake. Many months later an Irish missionary priest, Fr. Malone, is wandering a village near the lake. An elder of the village tells him that two of his countrymen are by the lake and that he may want to say hi to them. So, Fr. Malone goes in search of his countrymen. After a long walk, Fr. Malone comes upon the lake and notices Paddy and Mickey. Paddy is busy throwing the alligators from the lake onto the shore. Finally, in utter exhaustion, Mickey cries out: "The next time an alligator comes out with no shoes on, we're going home!"

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A penguin walks into a bar…

He goes up to the barman and says, "Have you seen my father in here today?"

The barman says, "I don't know, what does he look like?"

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A stamp collector walks into a bar…

He walks up to the hostess and says, "You're more beautiful than any stamp in my collection"

She replied, "Philately will get you nowhere."

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Patricia and the Frog

Patricia Black is a loan officer at a small, local bank. One day, she comes in to work, sits at her desk, and looks over her messages…

…when up to her desk comes hopping a frog, holding a little bag.

"Good Morning," says Patty. "Can I help you?"

"I hope so," says the frog. "The bigger banks have refused my loan application. See, I have a plan for a business, but not enough capital. So I could use a loan, to get things off the ground."

Ms Black, being a kind soul, decides to help the frog. "Well," she says, "do you have any collateral?"

"Only this." The frog opens up his bag and takes out a little porcelain figurine. "It's an antique, rare Hummel that I inherited from my grandmother. I think it has some value."

Patty looks at the figurine, and asks if she can show it to her manager. The frog agrees.

So she goes to her boss' office, holding the figurine. The boss looks up from his work and says, "What do you need, Patricia?"

"Well…" she explains about the frog, his business plan, and the antique. "I'm not sure what to make of this. What do you think about it, Mister Woods?"

The boss takes the figurine, turns it over a few times, then hands it back to her and says:

"It's a knicknack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan!"

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