Three tomatoes are walking down the street…

A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato.

The baby tomato starts falling behind so the papa tomato squishes him and says, “Ketchup!”

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Old man comes into a restaurant, sits at his usual table, and orders the usual — matzoh ball soup…

The waiter sets it down in front of him, and stands back to watch him enjoy it.

But the man just sits there.

“Is there something wrong?” the waiter asks.

“I can’t eat this soup,” the man replies.

“Is it too hot?” the waiter asks. “No.” “Too cold?” “No.” “Too salty?”

“No.” The waiter calls for the maitre d’, and for the chef, and each goes through the same routine: “Too hot?” “Too cold?” “No, no no.”

Finally the chief, at his wits end, says, “Sir, I will taste the soup myself. Where is the spoon?”

Says the old man: “A-ha!”

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I went in to a pet shop and said, “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?”

I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

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