I just got kicked out of Karaoke night for singing “Danger Zone” six times in a row…

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.

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The Truth About The Beatles

John was the brain

Paul was the heart

George was the spirit

Ringo was the drummer

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This conversation with my (ex)gf

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window… We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support…

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out…

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!

Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!

Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!

Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!

Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!

Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.

Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!

Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!

The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.

Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!

Are the spinach still operational?

Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.

Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it…

Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!

Her: And the squashes and peas!

Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!

The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.

Her: The squashes might be able to pull a surprise attack if the peas act as a diversion.

Basil is sent, the energy tomatoe is moving forward, good thing the potatoes are there otherwise its attack of the Italian.

Me: The beans are all strung out, they need something to back them up!

Sending the raspberries to replace the peas!

Her: The turnips are pulling out to make room.

Me: The avocados seem to be remarkably tough, let's send them in!

Her: I'm all out of veggies!

Me: Gather the troops and retreat!

Her: The tomatoes have agreed to sign the Treaty of Vegi.

The rhubarb will preside over the treaty signing.

Me: Do we trust them to keep their end of the deal, or will they go soft under pressure?

Her: The avocado's can keep an eye on them, their seeds are tough,.

Me: Righto, the mulberries are procuring the ink.

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