I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided if…

…the cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone…

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How do you make a Pirate angry?

Take the 'P' out of him.

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A cannibal is invited to a teambuilding week in the mountains

The instructions say he can also bring one friend But when he arrives, he brings ten people. The organizer is shocked: “Come on Alan, what the heck, the invitation said you can only bring one person!” "Yeah, but it also said bring your own food, didn’t it?!”

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I was on a quiz show once and they asked me to come up with a 5-letter palindrome that starts with K…

It's a pity, I was stumped, but if I had answered correctly, I'd have won a new kayak…

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I went to the library and asked if they had any books on shelves…

The librarian replied, "Yes, all of them."

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The Perfect Son

  • A: I have the perfect son.
  • B: Does he smoke?
  • A: No, he doesn't.
  • B: Does he drink whiskey?
  • A: No, he doesn't.
  • B: Does he ever come home late?
  • A: No, he doesn't.
  • B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
  • A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
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What Is The Worst Part About Time Traveling Jokes?

You already know the punchline.

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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.

He says , uno, dos poof… He disappeared without a tres.

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There Once Was A Poet Named Bates

His poems weren't always first rate, His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had, Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

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What is a witch’s favorite late time show?

The Witching Hour.

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