How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone?

Cello?

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for the fresh prints

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What is the similarity between Rihanna and a hydronium ion?

They both found love in an O+ place.

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I was at a job interview…

I was at a job interview and the boss asked me where I saw myself in 5 years and I said celebrating the 5 year anniversary of you asking me this question.

R.I.P Mitch Hedberg

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How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta

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What’s the best way to make pants last?

Make the jacket first.

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My friend just told me he’s opening up an underground water storage facility.

Oh, three of them, actually. Well, well, well…

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What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

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What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

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The Biggest and Best Collection of Funny Jokes on the Internet