Cat with 16 lives

There was a cat with 16 lives. It was run over by a 4×4 and it died.

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This is probably the best joke that I -a dad- have ever come up with

I bought my 19 year old daughter a new bed for when she goes off to university. She was undecided about whether she wanted to keep it.

I told her to sleep on it.

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Why couldn’t Bing start a fire?

No matches founds

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The seven dwarfs were in the hot tub feeling happy…

…so Happy left.

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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Ahh, those were the days…

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A gymnast walks into a bar…

She is then deducted five points.

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What does a pirate from Boston say?

Aaahhh.

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If you don’t like the way women drive,

Stay off the sidewalk.

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What do you call a punctuation mark that’s got a girlfriend?

..accommodating.

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I want to die like my grandfather, softly in my sleep…

…not screaming in terror like his passengers.

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